I'm Having a Day

I just deleted a 1,000 word email I'd worked really hard on because I would've felt like a phony for sending it.

I wrote to you about my 8-week pottery class and everything it's teaching me about perfection and our negative self-talk.

But the truth is: I'm sitting here with my heart racing after having woken up at 5am, my mind spinning with all my to-do's.

Don't forget: this is my 'entrepreneurial gap year.' (I wrote a Substack about it here.)

I couldn't (in good conscience) write to you about perfection without addressing my own imperfect elephant in the room:

I'm not nailing it when it comes to my entrepreneur gap year.

Sure, I spent the last week riding the Tower of Terror in Disney World ~20 times, and my business didn't skip a beat.

But then I came back to a to-do list longer than a CVS receipt, and the anxiety jumped right back in.

I've got a social content shoot in New York City tomorrow -- which means tons of content planning and prep, outfit planning, packing, hair and nails... blah, blah, blah.

All to shoot content for a platform I'm not sure I even want to be on.

I was behind on writing this Sam's Sidebar, and I still haven't written a word for my Ultimate Bundle®️ member newsletter or Substack due tomorrow.

I've got two On Your Terms®️ podcast episodes to record on Thursday (that I haven't outlined or prepped a bit!) and two weeks of Sam's Sidebar to pre-write because I'm off to Peru in a few days.

I have a million other things on the list that I can't even let myself think about... because I have no clue how I'll get them done.

I feel like I'm being squeezed through a barrel.

But I'm the barrel. I'm inside the barrel. And I'm the one squeezing it.

There's this me that's so ambitious and full of creative energy. The one that dreams in email sequences and giddily texts her friends with "fun ideas for their funnels." (LOL)

And there's the me who so desperately needed the gap year she set out to have in the first place.

The me that feels exhausted, burnt out, and content-cynical after the loss of both of my parents and the complicated, painful grief I'm processing behind the scenes.

I'm not looking for advice. (Please don't give it, I'm already overwhelmed.)

I also don't have advice to give. (Something I'm learning to be OK with on my quest to not always be helpful. I am valuable, even if I'm not helpful.)

I know what to do in times like these:

• sit with how I'm feeling
• chop everything that's not actually necessary, but feels it in my head
• put my phone away & get off social
• focus on 1 thing at a time that actually moves the business (this email, 1 podcast episode, etc.)

I wanted to share this in case you also struggle with slowing down. Not that anyone thought this, but I didn't want you to think it was necessarily going smoothly or easily for me over here.

Like me, you might be someone who's so used to running at sprint speed on autopilot that slowing down is actually the more difficult speed to maintain.

It's also in my Philly nature to be honest with you 100% of the time. I don't know it any other way.

And if you ever look at someone like me and think, "well she has energy all the time!" or "She just does all these things in her business and never gets stressed!"

Or you think, "she has a team, that's why everything is so easy and effortless" or "she has [insert thing you think I have that you don't have yet]" --

It's important to remember that you own the business. You produce the content. You serve your clients.

You're the one responsible for everything at the end of the day...

Including managing yourself.

Funnily enough, this week's episode of my podcast, On Your Terms®️, is about perfectionism and a day when I got so overwhelmed, I made a list of everything I was trying to do perfectly.

Listen to it on Apple or Spotify. It's only 16 mins.

As always, my inbox is open. Hit "reply" and let me know what came up for you. Just don't give me advice ;) And I won't give any to you.

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💰 Listen to my interview on Tori Dunlap's Financial Feminist podcast. Roadmap to Quitting Your Job and Building a Business in 2026 with Sam Vander Wielen→​

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